Home

Home is the best place where we can relax. It makes me weaker than any other places with no reason. I always feel like the cloud floating in the sky.

Why????


Maybe, home knows everything, what I'd thought, done and made since I was born. Additionally, it protects us from the natural disaster. Also, it owns my family. It helps us to make a band between us no matter how irritated or sad our feeling are. Home is a part of our family history. Probably, it is alive, has a heart and mind. it may talk with us. However I didn't listen to it. That's why my mind is going somewhere I can't catch. Feels like I'm lost even though I'm safe. No wonder, I have no energy to do something C'z I can not refuse it. As we are altogether, it is called synergy.


Yeah, I didn't talk with my home yet....
Hum....let me start with chit-chat....

If I had...., what would I have...??

I'm going to driving school every day, and I'm seeing a lot of high school students talking with friends and going home. Just four years ago, but it's kind of long time ago. At least I can't go back to that time.

Why couldn't I be friendly more?
Why couldn't I try anything more?

No doubt, I don't feel bad about what I've done in those days.
However, just my curiosities shake my head with the big question.

If I hadn't gone abroad, what would I have...???

Yeah, I know I shouldn't ask non-answer question.
Maybe am I lonely? not satisfied with my life enough??
Hum That's too bad even though I've done what I wanted...

The past

I came back to Osaka two weeks ago.
I'll be here for two more months during the summer vacations.
Yeah, of course I've been happy to see my family and eat Japanese food.
However, feels like back to the past when I was in Japan.
and these memories left just only chagrin.

I was self-center when I was in Japan. I thought I could have hands to control everything in the world even though I was just only one kind of human being. Besides, I didn't know anything in the world at that time. Maybe, I've grown up for this four years C'z I realized that.

One more past comes to me...
Yes, High school life's memory is unforgettable for everyone. Some people blossomed all high school life. But also, some people rusted high school life. When I was at grade eleven, I was bullied among classmates (feels like all students). Everyone didn't know my feeling; in deed, maybe they knew it but I was just ignorant. Finally I decided to make no friends at high school C'z I was more happy to belieive myself than trust bullying classmates. I thought they wouldn't be good friends anyway. It was right...but probably I lost good friends at the same time.

Recently, one question has stuck on me...

why did I do that???

It was a gift, given by the personal god, to build up my personalities.
Or just I was too young to be mature. (We have to make mistakes a lot.)


Let me think more....



one thing I know...
the past never changes but the future wills in order to change the presence.